Your mind is like a parachute, It doesn't work if it's not open.

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses. You decide.

The worst battles we have to fight are between what we know and what we feel.

Sometimes the most important lessons, are the ones we end up learning the hard way.


Monday, January 28, 2013

Gone



"It's not much of a story. My mother died when I was very young, so I barely remember her. My father, the Earl of Almesbury, died just last year, but I never really knew him. He was---well, not exactly a devoted father. I was brought up by my companion Mrs. Morley. I'm glad to say she's with me still. At one time the earldom included a large estate, but my father squandered it all away, leaving me an orphan without means. Fortunately for me, Uncle Robert, his younger brother, has agreed to take me in. So---as you said about yourself---here I am."(14)

It was not much of a story, I have to say. Not much happened after this day. Jane arrived at her uncle’s house, a few weeks later her "boyfriend" went to war, her aunt shot her uncle and her fiancĂ© died along with Mrs. Morley. No one had much to say, and Jane herself...changed. I couldn't say it was for the better, but I couldn't say it was for the worst. She became her own person, she wasn't under the control of her uncle, aunt, or her caretaker. She was under the control for who she was and that was good enough for her. "You have to make mistakes, before you can learn from them." (32) she'd say. This was true, mistakes had to be made before you were able to learn from them. No one would ever understand what it meant to her or what it means to other people. But Jane herself knew that she was able to live her own life without being walked through it by anyone.

Jane is the  main character out of many, but she is not the only one in control of her own life. Her aunt, uncle, "fiancĂ©", and her caretaker; want to run her life for her, because she is the daughter to the Earl. From the way Jane talks in the story, it's mostly about how much she loves it in the new world. She arrived full of hope and excitement about her new life in the troubled colonies. But then towards the end of the story her opinion seems to flip, she decides that she does not like it in the new world anymore. It is because she showed up and was thrown right into the middle of a heated war. Not only was it between her former country and her new home, it was a heated battle between members of her own family. She knows that it's not the same here. Her parents are gone. Her family is in disarray. Her friends, well she doesn't quite know who they are. Everything is different and she just wants everything to go back to "normal", well her kind of normal. Living with her dad and her caretaker, in England, not in this "new world" that everyone thought was going to be so great; that she thought was going to be so great.

Now that she is here in this "new world" everything is different and she's not quite sure which way to turn. Anyone who has or did read this book would see that Jane is very straight forward, she states her opinion and moves on from the conversation. But she never seems to be able to make a decision because when she has to everything in her life tends to go wrong. That's when Mrs. Morley steps in and helps her throughout the book, she’s Jane's voice of reason. But only having this story written in Jane's point of view doesn't help readers understand why Mrs. Morley is so protective over her.

If this book was from Mrs. Morley's point of view, the story would have been different, she never wanted to come to America; Mrs. Morley that is. As they could see North Carolina in the horizon from the boat; Jane asked Mrs. Morley what it would be like. Mrs. Morley responded quite bitterly. "A backwoods outpost. I dare say. Like all the American colonies."(4) She had no choice but to come to America, she promised Jane’s father. “If you didn’t want to come, why did you?”(4) Jane snapped. "I've been your companion since your dear mother died so long ago, and because I promised your poor father. What a wasted life he led! The Earl of Almesbury at thirty-three, and his fortune and estate lost to drink before he was forty! It was his dying wish I remain with you."(4)

So as you can see Mrs. Morley wasn't too thrilled about this new adventure, but if this story was from her point of view it would have all started back when she first meet Jane if not before and the story seems to me like nothing good has happened since they have met, but that is something no one will ever know. If this book was written from the point of view of Mrs. Morley (Jane's caretaker) the story would have turned out quite different.  
*     *     *     *     *
Jane Three Years Old

On that sunny Sunday afternoon at around three, Mrs. Morley was in her living room, talking to her niece; who was visiting for the weekend. All was peaceful until she heard a knock on the door.

A few weeks earlier she had went down to the post office on the far side of town to pick up her mail. While she was there she saw on the “job board” a sign that read Earl of Almesbury, hiring caretaker for three year old daughter, Jane. Immediately she was interested, she had been a caretaker for young kids now since her early thirties. Not knowing this could end up being her job for the rest of her life, she wrote her address and name on the board and carried on her way.

As she rose from her chair and headed towards the door, she thought it was one of her neighbors or maybe someone who had a question for her. Never thinking it could be about the Earl job. But as she opened the door to realize that standing right there in front of her was a tall man. He was requesting to see a Mrs. Morley. As she stood there in shock she didn’t know what to say. So all she said was…everything.

“I am Mrs. Morley. The widowed that is. My husband died just last year and now here I am. This is my niece Alexandra. Do you have any family? Who are you? Why are you here, asking for me?...” as she was talking rapidly, the man didn’t have a chance to speak. She was so nervous someone was there asking for her she forgot to stop to let him answer.

“Ma’am” the tall man said.

As Mrs. Morley stopped talking a mile a minute, it gave the man a chance to speak.

“Ma’am the Third Earl of Almesbury has sent me for you. We will sell your house, and you will move in with him and his daughter Jane. You signed the board down at the post office the other day and he thought you were the perfect mother figure for his young daughter. Her mother died just last week and he simply does not have enough time to watch a little girl grow up…” as he rambled on about Jane, Mrs. Morley was just waiting for him to stop.

She was so excited that when he finally said “…when you are ready, come along with me.” She closed the door and ran up the stairs with her niece Alexandra right on her heels.


Meeting the Third Earl and His Daughter

As Mrs. Morley ran out the door, she was nervous, not just nervous because she was going to meet the Earl, but nervous because this was going to be the rest of her life.

Jane will be great! She thought to herself.

I just hope she’s not to depressed. Well of course she will depressed. Silly me. I remember when my mother passed away even though it was just a few months ago it was still pretty rough. But we will have a great time! At least I hope…

As Mrs. Morley sat next to the man on the way to the Earl’s home on the other side of town she was thinking of all the things that could go wrong, and once she got there she was so nervous she was shaking. Jane was everything she’d expected, except she was a lot more energetic and very opinionated for a three year old.

The years went by and as Jane grew up, her and Mrs. Morley became quite close. Obviously without a  mother Mrs. Morley was the best she had. They were incredibly close. But Mrs. Morley also became quite good friends with the Earl. So the day he got sick, was a day she will never forget…

The Earl Dies, Going to America

He had one dying wish, that she wasn’t quite found of.

“Mrs. Morley, come in here please.” The Earl said from his dying state.

“Yes?” Mrs. Morley replied.

“I have one wish, if I was to die right now, which we can pray won’t happen. Take Jane to America. Meet my younger brother in Charlestown and keep her there. But don’t ever leave her side. She needs you.” He was being dead serious.

“Yes, sir.” Mrs. Morley said, exiting the room.

He can’t be serious! America! Everyone thinks it’s going to be such a great place. Even Jane herself. But our lives are here. He asked me to pick up everything once, he can’t expect me to do it again. My mother and I discussed America those many years ago. We both decided it was treason to step foot on that land. Why there? Couldn’t he have asked for us never to leave this house? I would have been more okay with that, not America!

“Jane come here please.” Mrs. Morley said from the bottom of the staircase.

As Jane rushed down the three flights of stairs. Mrs. Morley thought about how she was going to tell her that if her father dies that they were going to America.

I could tell her that it’s for the better, but is it? I could tell her it’s her father’s dying wish, but is that too harsh? I could tell her that’s where I want to go if her father happens to pass away, but that would be a lie, wouldn’t it?

As Jane hit the floor right in front of Mrs. Morley it startled her out of her deep thoughts.

“Yes, can I help you?” Jane said.

“Yes I have something very important to tell you, come with me into the living room please.” She said.

“What’s wrong?” Jane asked.

“Nothing.” Mrs. Morley responded.

But Jane could tell there was something wrong, and Mrs. Morley knew she had to tell her the truth.

“Jane, your dad’s dying wish is we go to America and keep you with your uncle, because if he happens to die, you will be an orphan and your uncle is your legal guardian.” Mrs. Morley told her the news and left the room giving her a moment alone.

One last scream from the bedroom upstairs made both Jane and Mrs. Morley jump. As they ran up the stairs they found Jane’s dad was now official gone, and they were really leaving.

“We’re leaving, aren’t we!” Jane screamed through her tears.

“Yes, yes we are.” Mrs. Morley gave Jane a moment alone with her dad and exited the room.

We are really leaving. What if I’m not ready yet? What if I don’t want to leave? I have to don’t I, I promised Jane’s father…

As Jane walked out of the bedroom and asked Mrs. Morley a question, she was so deep in thought she didn’t catch anything besides a couple words through Jane’s tears.

“…I’m excited… even though… gone” that was all she caught.

Jane was excited? She thought.

When she finally looked up Jane was gone. But they were leaving. She made a promise. Even though she wasn’t too thrilled of the promise she made, she had to keep it.

*     *     *     *     *

It's all in what you make of it.


It's all in what you make it.

In where it takes you.

It's all in what you want to make of it.

In which you make it.

Sometimes you can tell when things are bad,

But most of the time you can not.

Even though you thought you knew what was happening

Most of the time you are left in the dark.

From where you are right now,

To where you want to be.

Are very far,

long off places

that may or may not

be reached.